Justin Bieber's Cock Block

How did I become obsessed with Justin Bieber’s penis? Because it is out there! And how can you not be obsessed when pictures exist and I don’t mean those with the black strips or a Canadian leaf in front covering the goods. The star says he’s suing and the internet is buzzing with treasure hunting penis peepers. And now I am one of them…or was…until I found what I was looking for: the family jewels. Biebs pee-pee! Hee Hee!

What am I? A fifteen-year old school girl…or, more to the point, a 50-something perv, playing penis peek-a-boo? Let’s face it; every star has a right to privacy. But man-child Justin has been playing “catch me if you can” with the media for his entire career. Did he really think they would leave him alone just because he is on vacation? No one expected him to be a bore in Bora Bora. So is the media really to blame if they caught him with his pants down…literally?

Now, I will say if I was as well suited to be birthday suited as he is, I too may parade in the all together for prying eyes with the abject hope of being caught and exploited. I do understand the humiliation of being nude in public though. As the entertainment host for the now defunct British morning news show, GMTV, I did a segment in the nude. Yes I made a short story out of my shortcomings having posed for a celebrated nude photographer for a segment on our very popular television show. Then my executive producers thought it would be fun to have me do the live presentation of the naked story in the nude. For the sake of some propriety, I did it floating in a pool. Funny, you think? Well, viewers called the show while we were on the air with one woman inflating my ego by asking for a poster sized version of my picture and another man deflating everything worth deflating by wondering how he was going to keep his corn flakes down seeing my bare ass was bobbing in a pool while he is trying to eat breakfast. So, yes, these things can go horribly wrong. But Biebs, you, like me, chose to be naked and also like me, had to know people would see. “Me thinks thou doth protest too much.” As the pictures show, this man child is more man than child.

Now, comes claims that you say there was shrinkage. You can’t be that upset if you’re now stating that there is even more to you than meets the eye. I would be more upset at your father, who came out publically and declared his jealousy of his son. Eeeewwweee. Now that is creepy. Beibs, as a journalist who has been on both sides of this issue, take it from me. The more you taunt the media with cries that you are all grown up and then do something wonderfully juvenile like strut your stuff in the all together, the media is going to want more. And I am going to bet, shrinkage aside, that you have more to give.